I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im holly from the hills drunk
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
