i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
whose ass print is on the piano?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
