So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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