Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
