Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
In America we eat man semen.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
