can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
