The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
