Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
