You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
