Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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