I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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