Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
