I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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