party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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