I am in a vortex of obligation.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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