Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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