If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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