Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
