I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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