The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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