it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
