Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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