I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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