thus making me awesome and them whores
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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