that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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