two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
