Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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