I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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