capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize