Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
