I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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