It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
