ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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