so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
