my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
