I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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