My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
