i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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