I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
