you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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