I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
