He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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