Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
