i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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