Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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