I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
