What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fuck appropriateness.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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