Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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