i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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