The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
no, he came in my armpit
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
