Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
