There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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