well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
