How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
