Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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