Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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