After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
