My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
