She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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